Decide what YOU will do! Not what you will try to make the child do! Once you have decided, call a family meeting and inform them.

Schedule a whining time. At that time EVERYONE whines for a full minute AT THE SAME TIME. It is great fun, we all end up laughing.

Use a non verbal hand signal. Decide at the family meeting what it looks like. Tell the kids that when you hear them whine (or they hear you whine) flash each other the signal. Agree that the signaler will engage in conversation once the other’s voice returns to normal pitch.

Ignore the whinee until a normal tone of voice is used.

Leave the room.

Insert ear plugs and hum. Have your child lay a gentle hand on your forearm when they are ready to speak respectfully.

Lay on the floor (to ground yourself). Feel the floor and look at the ceiling. Invite anybody who passes to join you in “feeling the floor”. Once everyone is grounded sit up and start over.

Do the unexpected: Hug. Burst into Song. Laugh and say “That’s not going to work on me this time!” Or “Good try! Now, try it again,”

Say what you want your child to say, how you want them to say it: “Daddy, can I please have some milk?”

Say what you want your child to say to the parent being whined at: “Mommy, may I have some milk please?”

Ask for a hug, or say “I need a hug!”

Put it on the agenda for a family meeting.

Remember: A discouraged child is a misbehaving child. Help your child feel significance and belonging and watch the magic begin!