Let your child have her/his OWN school experience!

With back to school time you are probably as excited as your children! It is so thrilling to start the adventure of a new year! So get set because I am about to put a damper on YOUR enthusiasm. Try, try, try to get out of the way long enough to LET YOUR CHILDREN HAVE THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES! MAKE SCHOOL BE ABOUT THEM NOT YOU!

So what does this mean? It means that you hold your tongue and DO NOT ASK what your child did at school. Why? Because by the simple act of asking about your child’s day not only do you intrude on their space but you literally TAKE AWAY from their experience. For goodness sakes, you have been a part of their every breath, movement, thought, action and feeling for their entire lives. When they finally go to school they at last have something outside of YOU, that truly belongs to only them! SO BUTT OUT, LET THEM HAVE THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES.

ACK! You say! I love my child. I want to know about their day! I want them to know I am interested and care!!! Yes, yes, I know. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to back off. Let me tell you how to do it in a respectful manner. It’s really simple.

When you greet you child express your happiness at seeing them. Then tell them about YOUR day. Leave off any questions. Your child will share when ready. Mind you it may take several weeks or possible months, especially if your pattern is to pry and get every drop of info you can out of them.

Take care of yourself. Work through the feelings you have around your child growing up and not needing you. Grieve. Then move on and celebrate their growth and independence.